Advice Is Not Listening
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my
problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do…just hear me. And I can DO for myself;
I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to
my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
then I quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t
need advice.
So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn;
and I’ll listen to you.
The Dalai Lama’s Instructions for Life
  • A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  • Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  • Be gentle with the Earth.
  • Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  • Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been.