My mother and me at her 89th Birthday
My mother, who suffers from dementia, is a resident of Aspen Ridge, a lovely Alzheimer’s facility in Grand Junction, Colorado. My sister, Beth, goes to the home every morning to feed my mother breakfast since she can no longer feed herself.
While she is there, Beth tries to interact a bit with the other residents, many of whom seldom have any visitors. One woman, who was new to the facility, caused a terrible commotion for weeks, crying every few moments, “Who put me here? Who put me here?” As you can imagine, even the most caring staff would lose patience and tend to ignore the person after hearing this hundreds of times.
Feeling so sorry for her, Beth learned that she had no family except a nephew who lived far away and that she loved horses and had been around them her whole life. Even though she tried to befriend her over the following months, Beth never heard her speak except for that one phrase, “Who put me here?”
One day while shopping in the bookstore, Beth saw a beautiful picture book about horses. Thinking of this lady, she bought the book and took it back to the home to give her.
When Beth gave her the book, she said she sat on her bed and looked at every single page, picture by picture, with tears rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her emotional reaction, Beth gently asked her, “Can you remember one of your horse’s names?”
This dear woman, who suffers from Alzheimers and whom Beth had never heard speak, simply beamed as she named one of her horses after another. Beth counted that she remembered 22 different horses!
From that day on, every time Beth walks by her room, she says, “Thank you for being kind to me.” Just that small bit of attention made a huge difference in one life.
One thought that comes to mind is that we often treat Alzheimer’s patients as if they know nothing, but experiences like this, of kindness and caring, show that there is still a dear, thinking, feeling person inside.
Is there a retirement home near you where you can spend some time just befriending the precious people who find themselves there? With kindness and attention, you, too, can make a difference in an older person’s life.
To learn more about Barbara and her work, go to www.barbaraglanz.com
