ADMITTING LIMITS
This is a letter I wrote to Bob Buford in response to something he wrote called “Is There Too Much of a Good Thing?” about two of his pastor friends who handled burnout in very different ways. He asked the following questions:
1. Do you think everyone is at risk of being brought down by a tragic flaw? A blind spot they refuse to see?
2. Think about your life. Have you ever experienced burnout? Do you have a tragic flaw that makes you vulnerable? A secret life—so far undetected?
3. The Aspen Times has on its front page each day: “If you don’t want to see it in print, don’t let it happen.” Good advice. What would you not like to see in print?
Perhaps you will be able to identify with my response to him. Just an FYI — we are both coming from a personal position of faith.
Dear Bob,
I cannot begin to tell you how much your “musings” have meant to me. You always touch my heart, challenge me, and encourage me to stop and take a few moments to think more deeply about my life and faith. Thank you especially for the latest issue. I realized that I have not been admitting my limits, and it is showing up in my stress level and in my relationships. (I hate to admit that last week as I was talking with a friend late at night and multi-tasking so I could leave at 7:00 am to speak in Arizona and then on to my kids in Portland and Seattle for Thanksgiving, I found myself not really listening….but, shamefully, instead, focusing more on my tasks than on him).
I have been home only 17 days in the last three months, and even though there is no one to come home to, I still need that haven of rest and having a “normal life.” My struggle, like your pastor friend’s, has been that when I started my company in 1995, I said to the Lord, “Lord, You gave me this gift, so this is Your company and You put me where You want me to be.” As a result, He has sent me to all seven continents with no marketing! So, the struggle is that if I am free for a speaking date, I feel as if I should be there, since I have asked God to be in charge.
What you reminded me of was what I think is my tragic flaw— and that is caring too much and trying to please everyone. In my Bible study we have been studying a series from “Walk Through the Bible” on spiritual warfare, and it occurred to me that perhaps Satan is promoting this blind spot in many of us who are trying to do God’s work—a feeling that we have to do it all. Sometimes I even find my self-esteem getting caught up in my work, reminiscent of spending much of my early life trying to prove to my mother that I was worthwhile.
I need to reread Philip Yancey’s “What’s So Amazing About Grace.” That book has had a great impact on my life with his simple definition of what grace is — “There is nothing we can do to make God love us any more, and there is nothing we can do to make God love us any less.” Wow! What a reassuring and precious thought! We do not need to do ANYHING to prove ourselves to the Lord. And, in fact, if He is in charge, then it is not about us, and we are free to delegate, say “no,” define our mental and physical boundaries, and choose to stay within them WITHOUT GUILT.
I am sending you blessings and a wish for a year overflowing with love. On Thanksgiving Day I always make a list of all the people I love. As the pages fill and fill, I feel blessed beyond measure. And I am blessed to have you as a new friend in the Lord. Thank you, Bob, for all you do to make this world a better place.
Warmly,
Barbara
How would you respond to Bob’s questions?
To learn more about Barbara’s work, go to www.barbaraglanz.com.
