LIFE TRANSITIONS AND CHANGE
I have been thinking a lot about Change and life transitions lately. My youngest daughter, Erin, just graduated last week from the Art Institute of Portland with her second degree, a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Apparel Design. It was a mountaintop moment for us all as she has struggled for years to find her special niche, and at last she has found the best way to use her gifts.
Not only was she one of just two students who graduated “With Highest Honor,” but also her design collection, called “Focus Volume,” was selected to be the finale of the huge Fashion Show at the Portland Art Museum last Sunday evening, their designs and the actual creation of them being the culmination of the years of study by all the graduates. She got an amazing amount of press for her collection, and she was truly the “star” of the show!
However, as the commencement speaker pointed out, that day she was on the top of the hill, having achieved a goal she had worked for for years in the most successful way possible. Yet the very next day, she would find herself at the very bottom of the hill, starting all over again to find a job.
This week Erin flew from Portland to Sarasota to stay with me on the beach for a few days of R and R after graduation, and at first, I was concerned about her lack of spirit and depression. Then, as we began talking, I realized that her experience was the perfect example of the presentation I give, called “Feeling your Way Through Change: Understanding and Managing Transitions in Life and Work.” Since this very week I am doing that presentation for the national convention of the Society for Human Resource Management, it has given me a wonderful story to share with my audience!
For all of us, once we reach a goal, just as Erin did, there is a deep experience of loss:
The loss of Security –All of a sudden, Erin is going to have to support herself. (I have given her the leeway of helping for three months, but up until now her expenses have been paid.)
The loss of Identity – In a couple of days she went from being the “fair haired darling” of the department to being an adult without a job,
The loss of Competence – At this point, after receiving all A’s in her classes. she is questioning what skills she really has, how they would fit into a real job, and there is fear about what might be expected of her and can she really handle that.
The loss of Relationships – All the friends she has made at school will be going different directions, and the teachers she is close to will no longer be focused on her.
The loss of Territory-The position of being the outstanding student in her classes that once belonged to her is now gone, as well as the sense of “belonging,” and even the security of a known schedule.
The loss of Sense of Direction – Suddenly, she has gone from striving to reach a long held goal to the scary place of not knowing where she will end up and what she will be doing.
Even though Erin’s experience is a personal life transition, all these things are exactly what happen in any kind of Change, in the workplace as well as in our personal lives. However, as I share in my presentations, we always have a CHOICE about how we regard these changes – we can accept them and move on OR we can fight them and hold onto the past.
The first step in handling Change is always determining what we have lost, and then we can understand what is happening and better enable ourselves to let go and focus on new opportunities (like Erin searching for a job). Interestingly, the Chinese symbol for “Change” is made up of two different symbols, one for “danger” and the other for “opportunity.” I know that Erin will eventually choose “opportunity,” but this thought exemplifies where she is right now:
“It’s not that people are so afraid of change or so in love with their old ways, but it’s the place in between that people fear. It’s like Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. He has nothing to hold on to!”
As Price Pritchett says, though, “Change always comes bearing gifts.” My hope and prayer for all of us is that we can focus on the GIFTS that the future holds, and realize that Change, whether forced or chosen, is what keeps us energized and fully alive. I am confident that Erin will find a job which will allow her to use her very special gifts to make a difference in this world. Even though at this moment she feels like a person on the monkey bars, having to let go in order to move forward, she is beginning to focus on her options and the persons in her life who can help her, and that is the first step for all us in finding a new beginning.
(For more information on Barbara’s presentation on Change, go to www.barbaraglanz.com/programs. And if you have any contacts in the fashion industry, you can reach Erin at eringlanz@yahoo,com 😉
